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  1. Hi Carver! Well I really like the NBA and cute fluffy lions, so this story was phenomenal in my eyes haha. I think using the names was a great and creative idea! Will you be doing this for every story? It may be fun to do it! You can do a story using Thunder players, or the Heat! Maybe even a story of how Timberwolve's Kingdom defeat the mighty Buck's Kingdom. It could add a cool element to your portfolio and a NBA inspired name. As far as this story, you have an awesome starting point. I think if you go back through for revisions, you should focus on imagery and personality. Make each lion have a distinct character and personality. Something simple so it stays short, but I think it would be super cool. You could make Steph really cocky and obsessed with looking at himself in mirrors while LeBron is out helping others and caring for his family. Just a few ideas! Overall, awesome job!

  2. Hey Carver, I was literally just talking about basketball with my friend, so this is such a coincidence that I came across your story to read this week! It took me by surprise because basketball was the last thing I would think this story was about from the title of it. I initially thought "... Legends" referred to the Indian Epic's legends! I'm curious to see if your future stories will also be about the NBA and have basketball players as characters; we all know the recent tragedy that has happened in NBA history... There is one suggestion I have for revisions on this story: the fourth paragraph about the kidnapping and what I thought was the death of Alexis. You used the pronouns "her", "him/his", etc. very interchangeably and it kind of got confusing because I didn't know if you were referring to "she" as Alexis or the lioness that was jealous of her, so I wasn't sure who died and it just got complicated from there trying to figure out whose husband did what and who you referred to as the king lion since both Lebron and Michael had the title at one point, and then realizing it was the jealous lioness that was killed since Alexis was still alive and turned out to be kidnapped later. Other than that, it was a fun story to read!

  3. Hi Carver! Your story popped up again and I was excited to read your new addition. I love the way you continued the story from the Ramayana and added detail to it. Even though the characters were not the same, the story from the Ramayana definitely felt more complete. I wonder why King Kong did not ask his love and his sons to come home. I think it is pride. He should follow his heart though and stands up for what he believes in. I think it would be interesting to hear King Kong tell this story versus Blitz. When King Kong tells it I would imagine him hiding a lot of emotion. He would blow off the incident and say his kingdom is doing better than ever. If Blitz told it, I imagine her being really angry. She just raised his two sons without him ever giving a single care in her eyes. I wonder if he asked her to return if she would. Part of me thinks she would refuse, but knowing Sita from the Ramayana, she would go. Overall, well done!

  4. Carver!
    I enjoyed the stories that you posted in your story book. My favorite was definitely the one about LeBron’s army. Usually professional athletes who most people are familiar with is a great way to make such old stories more modern. At least to me, it made me more interested in reading the story than if their names had been regular people. I was able to visualize everything that you were writing, and it helped bring the stories to life. The one thing I would say is that it looks like you need to add picture information to the pictures you posted. I cannot wait to see what other stories you add and I wonder if you are going to make them more modern so people can easily relate to them or if you will do something futuristic. Overall, I enjoyed your story book and I definitely will be back to read more. Keep up the great work.

  5. Hi Carver!
    It seems like a lot of people love to write about basketball in this class, hah hah. I really liked your title, Lions and Legends. The alliteration makes your story fun even before I begin to read it! I think it's really cool that you made the players brothers, so their family was the team. I also really enjoyed your use of descriptive words, they made your story come to life! Also, don't worry about your story exactly representing the Ramayana. In order to truly make it your own, you have to branch out into your mind and play with the story! Your story actually reminded me of the lion king as well! One thing I would work on is having a consistent font. I dont know why it bothered me, because the words were clear, but I found myself squinting each time there was a shift in the font. For me, it took my focus away on the actual story at some points. I think it would be cook if you wrote a little preface of the stories on the homepage as well, to give your readers a little taste of what's to come! Overall, I really enjoyed your story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us!


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